Getaway Vehicle

Just got a copy of 'Policing Kent' through the door, all about how marvellously the local plods are doing. What's the top headline on the front cover? 'Win Eurostar Tickets'. Perhaps they're suggesting we'd all be better off in France.

Three-Legged Race

Yes I'm feeling much perkier now, thanks for asking. I've got a Rhino on order. Apparently that's what they call those electric contraptions that you see people speeding up and down the aisles in Tescos on. I'm going to have some flashing blue lights fitted, just for a laugh.

I must be feeling better, because I'm beginning to take an interest in the female of the species again. I see there's a charming young lady called Frances Oapen who's just come onto the local blogging scene, I wonder if she'd be interested in doing a Jake The Peg impression with me? I suppose not. So, plan B it is. I'm sure with my connections it'll be a doddle to get Heather's number.

Trouble At Mansion

That celebrity reprobate Eastcliff Richard is in a spot of bother again, I see. Looks as if he's been got at by hackers.

I remember some hackers got into Phil the Greek's computer back in the days when I was on the force. Caused one hell of a stink. The super had to go and apologise to him personally. Fortunately the super was indeed rather super, she was one of the first ladycops to come up through the ranks, and the meeting went very well by all accounts. She later said he'd remarked how pleasantly surprised he'd been to come across an attractive woman in a senior position.

Raided By The Nice Squad

I couldn't get to sleep, bladder's playing up again. I say bladder, but every time I think of it a vision of a perished tennis ball springs to mind for some reason.

Anyway, I've got to get blogging, despite only having the one foot to type with, or else those terribly nice but rather earnest people at the Thanet Blog List will relegate me to the back bench. They've told me if I don't get on with it, I'll be dumped in their archive section.

Now if the boot was on the other foot, it would have gone up in smoke in the QEQM incinerator.